Destiny awaits...

Today is a really good day, but it started of with a frown.

Everybody seemed to notice that I always frown. I frown whenever they don't follow instructions. I frown whenever they're being all silly. I frown even when i see HIM. I frown everyday, and every stinkin' day of my life. I realized that I shouldn't give that look to the, for they don't deserve it. They deserve a much more appreciated glance.

So this day, at about 12 pm, I went home with a frown, as usual, only realizing my habit's a burden to all. I made a promise that I wouldn't frown for the silliest things anymore, instead, I would encourage myself to be a laugh-a-holic once more like I used to be back then. And yes, so far, so good [: I'm really proud of myself.

Today is also the last day of the Annual School Press Conference and I wasn't that excited to know the winners. As a staffer, I was afraid that they would find a much better writer than me. Since this year is only my second year in the school paper of my high school life, I felt hurt when I heard about the news that they will compare the new set of winners to the senior staffers and eventually, they will decide who'll be the new staffers, who'll stay and who'll be going away. I was so darn sad, and that's really the main reason why I frown a lot on these days.

After the awarding ceremony, we senior staffers remained in the alumni hall together with the school paper advisers Sir Oliva, Sir Dionson and Sir Cac. (We weren't that close to the new school paper adviser, Ma'am Tara.) Sir Oliva gave us a sermon. And he kept on mentioning my name including Corina's and Russyan's. I was wondering why he did that. Then he said something about destiny and karma.

Yes, I know. Destiny awaits me. Whatever is in for me, I'll take it. I'll let no opportunities to pass by without me grabbing it. Nor will I let chances to be taken away from me. I must be assertive in every answer I've got. I must be stronger in order to overtake the many things that I know will only be a hindrance to my success. I'll let no problems to discourage me in reaching my dreams. I believe I can fly. I believe in myself.

And yes, karma has two faces: the good one and the bad one. I may possess negative energies at some time, but I'm most certainly sure that I'm avoiding it as much as the impossible. And the good one, I'm practicing. I'm implementing Confucius' golden rule: Do unto others what you want to do unto you. The opposite is Christ's golden rule. I'm reviving all the positive energies that I ejected along the way to the hills of triumph. And after all, I mustn't be anxious nor obnoxious to be the number one because I know that God has other plans for me. He reserved a much better blessing for me. He knows what I want, but He'll give me the unexpected.

Oh, what do you know? That Godly seminar had an effect to my senses. I'm a much spiritual person right now. Ain't that great?

So, that's all I've got as of 6:42 pm. I feel rejuvenated. But who knows what I'll do next? Maybe I'll attend another Godly seminar and plan to be a nun. AHAH. Oh well, so much for that. Maybe I'll edit this post later this night [: Goodbye.

[edited at 7:58 pm]

See? I told you so. AHAH. So, going along with the topic, I'd like to list down the main reasons why I frown.

o5. I usually get irritated when somebody's being a jerk and all. What the hell will you feel if you get embarrassed in front of everybody? And what will you think if somebody taps you on the back real hard, as in REALLY HARD? What's the point of being an understanding friend if you'd only get abused by your so called peers and friends?

o4. If someone were to confront you to tell you all the bad things they don't like about you, what would you prefer - a private talk or a public one? They embarrass me everyday.

o3. Would you like to have plastic friends or maybe just a true friend? I have lots of those Tupperware.

o2. If you couldn't talk to the most special person you've ever loved, what would you feel? I mean, I see him everyday, but I never tried to talk to him like an ordinary person. I want us to have this special connection as somewhat just friends whenever we're in school campus 'cause I don't want to get those rumors spreading.

o1. If your most priced possessions get trashed, what would you feel about the person who did the deed? My mother accidentally or incidentally put away my poems as we were moving to another home. I felt so shocked when I found out about that. I felt my heart falling into pieces. Until now, I can't get over that incident. I don't know where to look for them. I don't know how will I continue my dreams without my inspiration. Of course, there are other inspirations but I can't just forget about my poems.

Now you all know how I feel. And another thing: I wanna write once more.

I'll just have to give my best shot at the Journalism thing and just get over with the Poetry issue. I'll be missing those days. I'll spend the rest of my life dreaming about the papers and the thoughts I've put unto them. I'll be continuing my life without veins raging in my body. I won't be waving goodbye as I won't be losing hope to find them once more. I'll just wait till destiny comes.

[edited once more at 8:16 pm]

I've been listening to the songs featured in my blog for a week now. And I've been thinking about what it signifies. Let me show you the lyrics first.


"Hey There Delilah"
By Plain White T's

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.


and


"Samson"
By Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first



They have a connection somewhere. And that's what it keeps me awake. I'm still searching for the truth though. But I'll tell you, these songs are great and are really sweet though somewhat emotional. Give yourself a break and try to listen to them [:

So, that's plainly it. And I'm just ever so KILIG right now. Cyril told me his and Sara's love story. Weee. I miss the old times with Dale ;) I miss our kilig moments ;)) I miss him. I really do. I just don't know how will I continue life without him. It may seem that I don't care about him. It may seem that he loves me more than I love him, but I loved him first, I loved him first.