Hiatus.

Hey everybody. I'm having hiatus in school. AHAH. It's actually 3:25 pm right now. I'm home because of sudden sickness. It started yesterday and my friends and teachers actually thinks that I'm faking it. Why would I risk my time just to hang around when I know that It'll bring more pressure to me? See? I'm not that stupid, you know. I'm thinking that they're thinking that I'm just tolerating my laziness, AGAIN. But actually, I'm not and that's the good part. I actually had a sensible reason right now. I don't want to hide from my responsibilities, I want to face them but since I'm not feeling well, I should take a break first. I need some time to relax, to feel serene. So anyways, let's skip the part where I'm being emotional. I don't want this post to be that mushy and stuffs. I have severe pain on my lower abdomen and caused me days to miss school. Yesterday, I just had to relax and I was supposed to go to school the next day, which is today. Today, when I just woke up, I felt this feeling, abdominal pains. urghh. They were killing me. Just as my siblings went to school, mom told me that we will go to the hospital to have some check-up on me.

I was number 9 of the patients. We were there at about 8:30 am then I had my physical check-up at about 9:00 am then my abdominal check-up at about 10:00 am. The physician asked me some questions and told me to undergo urinalysis and PREGNANCY TEST? fuck. I was so offended by that. My mom was supposed to tell the doctor that I shouldn't undergo that process because it's fucking improper. What does she think about me? Urghh. I know my responsibilities and being pregnant is pretty much not it.

I was interrupted by the Telephone Company. I told them I was sleeping so that they wouldn't scold me because of me being such an inattentive person alone in the house :]]

So anyways, back to the track. A pregnancy test is really not the appropriate way in making sure that I'm healthy. Tssss. What if I just have a Urinary Tract Infection or something like that. By the way, I have a history about that u.t.i. frack. And it's nothing to be happy about. I was confined in the hospital with the dextrose. I hate that thing along with the needles. And besides, it really is an insult to peeps like me.

Going to the menace, I think I'm gonna have a hard time explaining the reason why I was absent in school for two straight days. It's a record. I'm never absent for two whole days. Maybe half a day, but two? No way. That exceeds my laziness. HAHA. If there is a limitation. Of course there is!

It's already 8:54 pm and I'm kinda tired and sleepy. I have to be ready for the big day tomorrow and in just a week, the periodical tests will come. SCARY!

[edited at 9:29 pm]

I just wanna show you a banner I've made for the past days that I've been missing Dale that much.



It's just a quick banner. I've made it for a few hours. Usually, I make banners for days. AHAH. Anyways, I'm working on the banner of the group CONVENIENTLY TWISTED* and EL ISMAEL. Both are volunteered works. Some groups are contacting me to make them banners but I'd rather not be that popular than be hassled with all these works. :]
Bonsoir!

Destiny awaits...

Today is a really good day, but it started of with a frown.

Everybody seemed to notice that I always frown. I frown whenever they don't follow instructions. I frown whenever they're being all silly. I frown even when i see HIM. I frown everyday, and every stinkin' day of my life. I realized that I shouldn't give that look to the, for they don't deserve it. They deserve a much more appreciated glance.

So this day, at about 12 pm, I went home with a frown, as usual, only realizing my habit's a burden to all. I made a promise that I wouldn't frown for the silliest things anymore, instead, I would encourage myself to be a laugh-a-holic once more like I used to be back then. And yes, so far, so good [: I'm really proud of myself.

Today is also the last day of the Annual School Press Conference and I wasn't that excited to know the winners. As a staffer, I was afraid that they would find a much better writer than me. Since this year is only my second year in the school paper of my high school life, I felt hurt when I heard about the news that they will compare the new set of winners to the senior staffers and eventually, they will decide who'll be the new staffers, who'll stay and who'll be going away. I was so darn sad, and that's really the main reason why I frown a lot on these days.

After the awarding ceremony, we senior staffers remained in the alumni hall together with the school paper advisers Sir Oliva, Sir Dionson and Sir Cac. (We weren't that close to the new school paper adviser, Ma'am Tara.) Sir Oliva gave us a sermon. And he kept on mentioning my name including Corina's and Russyan's. I was wondering why he did that. Then he said something about destiny and karma.

Yes, I know. Destiny awaits me. Whatever is in for me, I'll take it. I'll let no opportunities to pass by without me grabbing it. Nor will I let chances to be taken away from me. I must be assertive in every answer I've got. I must be stronger in order to overtake the many things that I know will only be a hindrance to my success. I'll let no problems to discourage me in reaching my dreams. I believe I can fly. I believe in myself.

And yes, karma has two faces: the good one and the bad one. I may possess negative energies at some time, but I'm most certainly sure that I'm avoiding it as much as the impossible. And the good one, I'm practicing. I'm implementing Confucius' golden rule: Do unto others what you want to do unto you. The opposite is Christ's golden rule. I'm reviving all the positive energies that I ejected along the way to the hills of triumph. And after all, I mustn't be anxious nor obnoxious to be the number one because I know that God has other plans for me. He reserved a much better blessing for me. He knows what I want, but He'll give me the unexpected.

Oh, what do you know? That Godly seminar had an effect to my senses. I'm a much spiritual person right now. Ain't that great?

So, that's all I've got as of 6:42 pm. I feel rejuvenated. But who knows what I'll do next? Maybe I'll attend another Godly seminar and plan to be a nun. AHAH. Oh well, so much for that. Maybe I'll edit this post later this night [: Goodbye.

[edited at 7:58 pm]

See? I told you so. AHAH. So, going along with the topic, I'd like to list down the main reasons why I frown.

o5. I usually get irritated when somebody's being a jerk and all. What the hell will you feel if you get embarrassed in front of everybody? And what will you think if somebody taps you on the back real hard, as in REALLY HARD? What's the point of being an understanding friend if you'd only get abused by your so called peers and friends?

o4. If someone were to confront you to tell you all the bad things they don't like about you, what would you prefer - a private talk or a public one? They embarrass me everyday.

o3. Would you like to have plastic friends or maybe just a true friend? I have lots of those Tupperware.

o2. If you couldn't talk to the most special person you've ever loved, what would you feel? I mean, I see him everyday, but I never tried to talk to him like an ordinary person. I want us to have this special connection as somewhat just friends whenever we're in school campus 'cause I don't want to get those rumors spreading.

o1. If your most priced possessions get trashed, what would you feel about the person who did the deed? My mother accidentally or incidentally put away my poems as we were moving to another home. I felt so shocked when I found out about that. I felt my heart falling into pieces. Until now, I can't get over that incident. I don't know where to look for them. I don't know how will I continue my dreams without my inspiration. Of course, there are other inspirations but I can't just forget about my poems.

Now you all know how I feel. And another thing: I wanna write once more.

I'll just have to give my best shot at the Journalism thing and just get over with the Poetry issue. I'll be missing those days. I'll spend the rest of my life dreaming about the papers and the thoughts I've put unto them. I'll be continuing my life without veins raging in my body. I won't be waving goodbye as I won't be losing hope to find them once more. I'll just wait till destiny comes.

[edited once more at 8:16 pm]

I've been listening to the songs featured in my blog for a week now. And I've been thinking about what it signifies. Let me show you the lyrics first.


"Hey There Delilah"
By Plain White T's

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.


and


"Samson"
By Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first



They have a connection somewhere. And that's what it keeps me awake. I'm still searching for the truth though. But I'll tell you, these songs are great and are really sweet though somewhat emotional. Give yourself a break and try to listen to them [:

So, that's plainly it. And I'm just ever so KILIG right now. Cyril told me his and Sara's love story. Weee. I miss the old times with Dale ;) I miss our kilig moments ;)) I miss him. I really do. I just don't know how will I continue life without him. It may seem that I don't care about him. It may seem that he loves me more than I love him, but I loved him first, I loved him first.

This week's the shit.

haaay. i'm so effin' fucked up.
tssss. grrrr.
It all started with the misunderstanding with Dale then the freakin' things that happen. I'll skip the Dale part :D

So, here it goes:

Ughh, Taglish na lang aa :]

Misunderstangdings come up in the most unexpected situations. Misunderstandings can pop out of anywhere and can involve unexpected people.

Us students of SSC II-1 and our subject teachers have this little thing in between or we can consider it as a real BIG thing.

We've always been obnoxious to tell our adviser that she's crossing the line. Ever since June 4, she had this attitude that makes us go crazy. Is she lazy
or just simply very annoying or what?

But after tomorrow, everything changed. We planned to tell her or send a request letter to the curriculum head to let her know what she's been doin'
wrong.

Hindi naman sa nagmamagaling kami, pero hindi talaga
namin tanggap na we deserve an adviser like her.

That's what we felt. We had open forums to plan the schemes. And then this day comes.

She (the adviser) came to our room at about 10:30 am when her original time is 10:00 am to 11:20 am. She said that she only does that for us to have time to clean up all the mess but then she caught the room in chaos. The trash can was overflowing, the chairs were all disarranged, the students were scattered along the corridors of the building. She was furious and angry.

Then she let all the people, who put their trash in the trash can when they know it's full, to stand and explain to defend their selves. No one was admitting their mistake.

Our adviser pointed me and told me to tell something about the class. (She always does that, that's why all my classmates think that I'm her favorite amongst all.)

I haven't got anything to say except our remarks about her. My classmates murmured things that i think meant to open up that topic. But I just can't find the courage to be really honest that time. So our president, which is supposed to be me, stood up along with another classmate and told everything that we've talking about since the first day of class.

Our adviser was I think really surprised that we felt like that. But she ain't mad. I mean, who wouldn't be mad at people who stab your back. Maybe she's just open-minded with a really really broad horizon. And thank God.

We told her all our feelings that were hidden all along. Even what we felt to other teachers, we unravelled. And then, everything was okay at that point.

And here comes the bad thing, Nearly our dismissal, was another teacher we despise.

Kawawa naman ang mga II-1, walang upuan. - the teacher

One of my classmates whispered to another person ICT. It's another curriculum where we've been compared in terms of broadcasting skills.

E di dun nalang tayo sa ICT mag-room! - classmate

Nangiinis ba kayo o nangiinsulto? - the teacher

Ma'am bakit? Naiinis pa ba kayo? - AKO

FUCK. Why did I say that? The devil whispered it to me >.<

She made me a very long report about the History of China which like have billions of dynasties. grrr. I'm still working on it.
>:[

And we even told that to our curriculum coordinator but he thinks its all our fault which is totally not! Why would she be that arrogant to us? Always scolding us and don't even know what the situation really is.

Tumutubo pa lang ang mga pakpak ninyo, nagpipilit na kayong lumipad - the teacher

ANU DAW?

Mayayabang kayo! - the teacher

WHAT THE HELL?

Bawasbawasan ninyo nga ang mga hangin sa ulo ninyo! - the teacher

HA? Mukha ba kaming mga lobo? :]]

Let's skip that part na, I'm starting to blow up >:[

Today was a nice day although I missed another opportunity to talk to him :[

It's the first day of the School Level Press Conference which is the event I've been waiting for since forever. But we can't join anymore 'cause we're already staffers of the school papers. We should give chances to others DAW. tsss. AHAHA. I'm so selfish :D

So anyways, we've got an allowance of only 20 pesos since it's just a school level press con. haha.

NAPAKAKURIPOT TALAGA!

Before, it was 100 pesos, now it's one fifth the original price. haha.

I'm still waiting for the next day for the results of the contest. I'm hoping Cyril to be in the next batch of officers. Cyril is one of my closest friends and I really hope that when he'll be one of the staffers, C***** will be kicked out of the association. AHAH, after all, it's really unfair. We've tried our best to be in
the school paper last year and thankfully, we three, Me, Sara (Cyril's girlfriend) and Enrique (bestfriend), are in. But C***** did nothing and we were all suprised that she's in. tsss. The other people who deserved that position we're really NADAYA. ahaa. But anyways, I'm still thankful to be in the school paper once more. Journalism is like my other bestfriend. Next to Poetry and Literature and the Pen and the Paper. and of course, THE INTERNET :]

homaygad!

This week is really really fun and exciting :D
But first, I want you all to know that I'm so sick
of dsl. grrrr. One week is enough, but two weeks?
fvck. I can't live without my drugs. :|
So as I was saying,

Monday was okay ;D
JULY 16, 2007
It's our 8th monthsary, yea (:
No plans at all, then I was shocked.
We went to MCDO. :]]

Nagpunta kami ni thea sa public market at sa Choa's tapos nagtext si Dale at Aniceto, punta din daw sila dun. Tapos, pagdating nila, iniwan ako ni Thea. HAHA.

ahaa. They ordered food, but I didn't eat anything :D

Tuesday was alright.

Wednesday was also okay.

Thursday was pretty good.
It was President Gloria Arroyo's inauguration.
We went to Cubi ;D
Riding on a jeepney, YAKAP TRIP
:D ahaa. uber kakahiya, kasi may teachers :]
pero it was worth while ;D

so far, that's all I can say.
I can't think of any inspiring message to share today.
I can feel the pressure building up.
All the works are drifting closer and closer
each day. I don't know how to balance my time
anymore. :|

that's all.
I'm having a hard time with all these homeworks :[

Friday the Thirteenth

Gosh. Today is Friday the Thirteenth and yet i'm so lucky.
Is the bad luck thing psychological or what?
ahaa. but before anymore chits, i wanna tell the whole story.

Monday - July 09, 2007

We just moved to another home.
I like the new place but I missed the internet.
I mean, NO INTERNET FOR A WEEK? wtf? grrrr.
It's just so unusual. Even my classmates thought I was joking.
ahaa. They call me the internet guru. lmao.
and there was a late blow-out for Rhana's
13th birthday at Greenwich. It was quite fun.
and yet intriguing. sheez.
:D We ate 3 square pizzas and drank 3 pitchers or soda.
:]] We were about 7 people, I think.
and there were really insecurity moments.

Tuesday - July 10, 2007

Nothing happened, really. just the usual routine.
Study, study and more studying.
But of course I have time to look at HIM.

Wednesday - July 11, 2007

Still, bored. And yes, nothing to do.
Except wait for the internet.

Thursday - July 12, 2007

We were supposed to have a meeting for our
investigatory projectslashresearch
BUT nobody came because everybody was
effin' busy about the coming Microscope RapslashJingle.
haha. And I admit, I was busy about that too so, it's nobody's fault :D

Friday - July 13, 2007
Today is the luckiest day ever :D
Almost (:
aweee.
We went to Greenwich again.
Charmaine treated us this time, actually,
she always treats us wherever we go, as long
as she is hungry :D
so, THANKS [;
and, I just realized this second that I
really like to put smileys everywhere just
to express my thoughts and all. ahaa.

so, back to the topic,

At the mall, we were about to go home after we
just ate a whole pizza square :D

Tantananan! Dahil bumili ka ng pizza square,
meron kang free na pitcher of coke or sprite or rootbeer, etc.
- Cheryl, the cashier lady

That's what the cashire lady told us, I think her name is
Cheryl? ahaa.
And then, when we finished eating. We went outside and it's
raining very very hard. And I don't know why we waited there
for, I think, hours.
Then, Iyaa and Dale came running. ahaa.
We went inside the mall again, to the food court.
Since there are so many people in there.
:D
They wanted us to talk or at least, they wanted me to talk to him.
Gosh. I was really pressured there. I was about to have an emotional
breakdown again but I thought that I had to be strong.

:]] Ambabaw ko - Me

ahaa. And yes, we talked but not that much.
I'm a really talkative person but not when I'm around him
or at least, he's around me. :D
I don't know why or how. That's what scares me :S
And, aweee. We went near a place that was used to be called
Cindy's Plaza. And by the second,

Inaakap niya ko. And it was under the rain :]]

I don't know how to react but i think I'm SMILING
right now. :]] SERIOUSLY :D

After that, I don't really care what happened next,
except for the fact that the internet came back (:
yeayy. and that's all. I wanna keep on smiling like this.
Makes me feel very jolly ;D

Grand Opening :D

Ughh, hi everybody. Today, July 08, 2007, is the grand opening of my new blog that took me months to finish. I will put here all my thoughts and opinions. And I'll make up another blog for my poems and another one for my photoshop works and another one for question and answers. :]]
ayieee. I'm so excited. I worked so hard for the codes in this layout.
>:[ It took me weeks to make up the CSS and days for the photoshop things and HTML.
I've searched almost everything in the internet for the easy codes. ahaa. And now, I'm quite a pro. :)

So, as you can see, this is the first post and it looks like there's nothing here. :]]
But there is really none, except for this one :P

So anyways, I have to go because it's already 5:43 pm. So byee. mmkai :D